Internet Diary #002
Here's everything I consumed on the internet this week
Missed out on the last week or so because I was traveling for a wedding in Grand Rapids, Michigan (I will not be posting a photo diary from there because it was… not great), and I was also away for MDW.
As a quick aside, a friend of mine didn’t understand what MDW stood for, which seemed crazy to me—how could someone be so unaware of the acronym? Maybe it’s because I grew up in Jersey, where MDW is synonymous with Memorial Day Weekend, a time when everyone heads DTS (Down the Shore).
But maybe it truly is a Jersey thing, and the rest of the world is only now catching up to our greatness. The more I think about it, the more I realize how deeply ingrained it is in the culture: Jersey Shore gave us GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry); the NJ breakfast scene blessed us with SPK (Salt, Pepper, Ketchup); and, of course, there’s the iconic roadway GSP (Garden State Parkway).
Ok enough acronyms, WFAHMNID: without further ado here’s my newest internet diary …
#1: "Married In A Year In The Suburbs"
It’s been enough time that I’m sure everyone knows exactly what I’m referring to when they see that title. But for those who don’t—first of all, I’m very jealous and wish I had never seen it. There’s this singer named Brendan Abernathy who released a clip of his new single where he is singing screaming to people in an empty field, and it feels like people are actually being forced to watch him. The song is complete garbage and this dude is not even a good singer but the memes that have come from this moment are pure heat. I won’t share the actual clip because I’d like to spare you from this car crash, but if you do end up watching the original, pay attention to the woman in the background who can’t contain her laughter. I salute her for bravery.
So this dude got meme’d into oblivion and there’s way too many good clips to share. But here’s my three favorite so far:
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Using your son as the guitar is a pure masterclass in memeology. 10/10 no notes.
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The fingers as feet plus the tiny guitar is just high quality stuff.
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And I don’t know, I just really thought it was funny someone put him in the cicada filter. It made me laugh. Is my brain broken? Probably.
#2: Timothée Chalamet Goes Full Method
If you haven’t been watching the NBA Playoffs, you might have missed out on Timothée Chalamet’s new acting role as Knicks Super Fan. Now Timmy has been a certified Knicks fan his entire life and there’s no denying he’s been a legit day one supporter.
But more recently as his fame continues to grew to massive heights, so does his fandom. Timmy has been seen court side at nearly every Knicks playoff game including most of the road games. Him and Ben Stiller have traveled pretty consistently throughout the ‘yoffs and it’s been such a delight to see. I bring this all up to specifically point out one moment this playoffs where Timmy pulled out all the stops. For some reason unbeknownst to the world, this man pulled up to a playoff road game dressed as a professional bowler? Guy Fieri? Jack Nicholson?
This is a MASSIVE fit and it had the internet going crazy. The glasses, the haircut, and the goatee are all working in a holy trinity to exude the most perfect look. If you’re a fan of Documentary Now and Tim Robinson, you’ll realize Timmy was just doing his best Rick Kenmore:
The Knicks also won that game and suspiciously haven’t won since. Maybe if Timmy dressed like this for every game, the Knicks would be playing in the NBA Finals.
#3: The New NBA Podcast GOAT?
I have worked in the NBA Podcast industry for almost a decade so I feel extremely qualified to say this: I think BHen is on the Mount Rushmore of NBA Podcasters. He is legitimately on a generational run over the last year or so.
For those unaware, Bishop B. Henn is one of the hosts of Club 520, an NBA podcast featuring Jeff Teague, a former NBA player. I wrote about the podcast in 2023 for Katie Heindl’s amazing substack Basketball Feelings but since then the podcast, and more specifically BHenn, have continued to gain more popularity and success. That twitter thread features some of the most iconic lines from BHenn that no other podcast could ever replicate. People dream of having a podcast that is “unfiltered” or “authentic” and currently everyone is trying to catch up to BHenn, who continues to shoot straight from the hip every chance he gets. This clip below is especially hilarious for me in particular because I was a co-host on a podcast that was also sponsored by a gambling company. Which means I was forced asked to give my picks every episode and most of the time I wanted to do exactly what BHenn did.
If you want to have a good laugh or twelve, I would recommend clicking through the replies and quote RTs from that thread because there’s so many hysterical moments. Please continue to give this man a mic!
#4: Does it Creed?
I would like to go on record to say that I was a pioneer in helping make Creed cool again. I sang in a Creed voice so frequently that in 2020 it lead me to create a day long fundraiser called Creed Karaoke. I took requests from people all day to sing a Creed version of any song they wanted for just $5.
I sang probably hundreds of songs that day and raised over $5000 for charity. But I only brought that up to emphasize my expertise when it comes to Creed. And recently I came across a TikTok account called airromusic — he’s a DJ who’s been doing mashups but specifically a series called “Does it Creed?”
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It’s a simple concept but genius level execution. I have no notes and I hope this series continues to go on for the end of time.